There have been two main iterations of King Kong, 1933 the black and white classic and most recently with Jack Black which was ok, not great, but ok.

So this most recent offering has discovered a new island only recently found via satellite imagery and requiring mapping. Step up a crack squad from the US Army just on their way home from ‘Nam. Led by Samuel L Jackson’s the war aint over boy attitude and grand standing, these boys are whooping and hollering while we the viewer take early punts on the obvious early deaths.

With the dodgy Bill Randa and colleagues believing in the hollow earth theory (a jurrasic time buried within the earth) they take seismic missiles to ‘map’ the area. Along with them is crack British ex SAS and all round hero James Conrad (Loki) plus war photographer Mason Weaver (Brie Larson).

Together they set off with some random scientists also known as monster fodder, and battle the storm surrounding the elusive skull Island.

Most modern takes on classic movies have yet to convinve me they are worth the money and time spent by anybody involved – Get Carter, Italian Job, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Balls up, all terrible. Plus do nothing but enhance the reputation of the original and ruin the rep of the modern take cast and crew.

Sp, this one starts well, Kong is introduced dramatically as soon as the gang arrive, swatting choppers out of the sky, treading on scientists and soldiers alike. However, this gives you a sense of ‘where can the movie go?’ apart from ‘lets go kill this thing’ as the group is split into two groups as they try to make their way towards the rendezvous three days later.

There are revelations, skull monsters, over acting, surprise residents and a rather wet conclusion. Tom Hiddleston as the heroic ex SAS dude is awful, a smug not very believable posh turnip and certainly confirmed he is no Bond. The rest were ok, Brie Larson was brilliant, believable and thankfully not a typical female role in this movie.

As a whole it struggles to present a full on classic, it has moments to be fair but it loses any sense of danger or surprise that it builds with some obvious cliches which do more damage to the classic movie than act as a homage to it.

Its in the cinemas still, its ok, if it was me I would wait for dvd as this isn’t a classic, more of a wet Sunday afternoon viewing.

What are your onions?

RPOS Guv X