rare pair o'strides

So, Sherlock’s last episode in this series, if not for ever aired last night with the amount of speculation being wound up to ridiculous heights as the followers claimed and counter claimed what was going to happen and what everything meant.

Oh do fuck off.

Sherlock Holmes is brilliant, Dr Watson also brilliant, Mr Doyle who wrote the stories about this strangely brilliant detective and his ever faithful partner are just excellent characters. They have been reimagined many times on small and large screen with I hear another version being shot right now in London starring Will Ferrel.

So why when Gatiss and Moffat who lets be fair have brought us three fantastic series so far, did they decide to disappear up their own arses?

Previously they have been clever, funny, innovative, displayed a real understanding of how the characters would live in the world today, how the stories from the 1800s can work so well here with the modern take. The acting, the sets, the twists, the villains all executed with a believable air, sucking us all in and loving the fantastic work.

The Last Problem promised to take The Lying Detective’s almost back to form following the first episode which was quite shit. However, the clumsy plot holes, the ridiculous premise of the sister being this uber evil brain, unbelievable settings and sets just really pissed me and it seems the viewing public right off.

The figures for this series dropped dramatically after the first episode, went up for the second and started bombing during, yes during the third.

Why? It was over the top bollocks. It looked and felt like some crass American remake – Get Carter, Italian Job. Over the top aren’t we oh so clever writing plot twists and all because Sherlock’s sister got the arse that he wouldn’t play with her. It doesn’t wash, work, make any sense and as for the fucking cheesy ending – what utter utter ‘look at us’ writing. This incredible show where they’ve clearly have disappeared up their own arses. The writers look like they started off with a good idea and then took it in a couple of directions, then hit  a wall, panicked and went Hollywood.

Just utter bollocks and not so bloody clever. Entertaining? No.

Gatpiss and Modfartt just recognise that you had a good thing and then you royally fucked it up.

I suggest you go away, have a think and perhaps come back with one last series. Work with new writers, work with old writers just listen to others, listen to the public and maybe, just maybe you could close your tenure with a classic.

What are your onions?

RPOS GUV X

So, last week we had the first episode of a three partner from Gatiss and Moffat which I have already highlighted as being rather cack in my eyes. Loss of direction, lazy writing, too PC, way off the mark of what Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are all about.

Well, this week saw a return to form. A return to Sherlock being bonkers, cracking music (to be fair it was last week, the score never fails) Mrs Hudson’s past returning, nervous Molly, not enough Le Strade. Watson, dear old Dr W rightly grieving, trying to come to terms with all those mixed up emotions that men aren’t supposed to feel let alone talk about, whilst his hate figure threw himself into a drug fuelled nutterdom melt down.

‘The Lying Detective’, episode two of series 4 was fantastic, plot twist after twist, stress after stress, not too much over action gave us a freeking brilliant 90 minutes of fun/angst/crying/laughing.

Its almost as if the first episode was deliberately dull and poor so the second was even more fantastic, no, brilliant. Loads of quick fire asides, twists, obvious holes which turned out not to be.

The evil little dude from Dads Army was excellent. Just enough smiling assassin without being hammy. His cereal killer advert was ridiculous, he was so overt it was almost a double bluff. The fact he was so revered for his celebrity, philanthropy, he was given the keys to the hospital further enhanced the realism of his evil, when the uncomfortable parallels with a certain 70s figure are unavoidably drawn.

Another Holmes……….complete nut job Euross/youros however you spell it, did she kill Dr W? We know she didn’t as he is in the trailer for next week……..or is he another ghost?

Mary. Last week was so not needed, so unbelievable, over used and underwhelming, so not Sherlock. This week quite brilliant. Mary’s ghost became John’s sounding board, the spokesperson for the audience, played brilliantly, emotionally, funny. This Mary will be missed.

So, next week, the last in the present series, perhaps the last ever it has been declared.

The teaser for next week’s ‘The Final Problem’ points towards all the previous series’/episodes’ have led our Sherlock to his point. There is pondering, solemn chat and an explosion.

Who gives a shit as long as it rockets up and down, twists left and right, messes with our heads and hearts.

Sherlock back on track.

Oh and if Mary wants to pop up again that would be cool as long as Miss Adler comes along…….

What are your onions?

RPOS GUV X

Sherlock – too long or just a little shhhhh

New Years Day and the now annual outing of a new episode of the rightly so brilliant Sherlock starring Ben Chunderbatch and the Hobbit was upon us. 9PM for an hour and a half, titled The Six Thatchers.

Now, to me, I first thought this was going to be about traditional roofers who all mysteriously disappeared in Suffolk after falling prey to a slate roofing magnate but no that would be too silly.

Instead we got a load of plaster casts of the infamous Prime Minister, Maggie T, being busted open for no apparent reason apart from they were coincidentally at the scene of another mystery Sherlock solved (the dude who died in his car disguised as a car seat). Then subsequent events lead the Sherlock to sourcing the buyers of the ‘Maggies’ and attempting to catch the perpetrators.

Whilst scrapping with the fiend in a pool trying to save the last ‘Maggie’ our Sherlock discovers that hidden inside the bust is a memory stick. The same memory stick Mary (The Hobbit’s wife) threw away into an open fire – ‘the past is the past’ she decried.

This then leads to our discovery that the Hobbit’s wife (Mary) was in fact part of a crack unit used by the ‘highest bidder’ as assassins or indeed rescuers. Oh do fuck off.

Are Gatiss and the rest so bereft of ideas that they had to stoop to this nonsense or is the only way to write out the Hobbit’s wife? Seeing as the Hobbit’s wife in real life is now indeed no longer his wife, so had to be got rid of. What better way than making her out to be so right on and powerful which not surprisingly is like the Hobbit’s wife in real life.

There is nothing wrong with powerful capable women – Princess Leia, WonderWoman, Theresa May. So who was this episode for? Not Sherlock fans, not Hobbit fans, so who for?

Story was weak, boring, unbelievable, nothing like Sherlock and so lazy it was farcical.

Thank all things that are Baker Street she is now off (or is she – oh do fuck off) perhaps Gatiss and the other one can get back to slick, witty twisting takes on the classic legendary tales, rather be oh so freeking PC and ‘clever’.

Apologies if you haven’t seen it yet but to be honest I’ve saved you 90mins of piss.

Looks like the next episode will go back to something true to form and what made it so successful in the first place. Sherlock and Dr Watson, Le Strade and Mrs H.

I for one, hope Gatiss and the other one have got their ‘A’ game afoot before they truly leave what is still (just) one of the best interpretations of a classic we have seen.

 

What are your onions?

RPOS GUV X

Boyslife McBusted WestZone Atomic Kitten Blue 5Star Five All Saints

Nostalgic trips down memory lane for pop artists looking for a final payday, to satisfy their own egos having been picked up and thrown on the scrap heap when no longer required.

These poptastic pretty faces with limited talent are constantly desperately trying to grab back their glory days, desperate for that five minutes of fame by rehashing the only thing they know – which isn’t much.

Then along comes an act/band/artist from an age where decadence, fame went hand in hand with talent and hard graft – Madonna, Prince, Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Duran Duran. Global superstars working, producing, partying.

To this day these icons of pop are still at the forfront of the music business, constant reference points for the latest artist.

Yes there were pop acts, manufactured for money and short gain but there was one pop band which led the way, one which was the first to show the pop world what true global phenomenon was. Bros.

Matt and Luke Goss – When Will I be Famous released on 16th November 1987, debuted on their album Push in 1988 went on to be multi platinum – not down load bollocks proper sales meaning people walking into a shop an actually buying a physical piece of history.

19 consecutive nights at Wembley and still the  youngest band to ever play Wembley to this day.

When their star waned, they didn’t give up, whine about their lot, they dusted themselves down and worked – acting, writing performing, producing.

Luke went solo with a rockier edge, Matt became one of the longest residencies in Vegas ever.

On the 5th October 2016 came the announcement, in almost total secret that Bros were back after nearly 30 years.

Now that is a com back, thats nostalgia, thats pop royalty – fastest ever sell out of the o2 arena 20,000 people, oh and another nigHt added due to demand plus a UK arena tour.

The social media explosion and almost hysteria amongst the 30-50 year old population is only matched by the 20-30 year olds who want in. They want that feeling of something that has substance not this pseudo plastic ‘reality’ bullshit.

I was never a fan, never wore bottle tops, but you cant deny that Matt can sing and I mean really sing – check out youtube and his Vegas performances.

Rock ‘N Roll, Punk, Pop.

You have to respect those who innovate, work and deliver.

I may just go, now where are my bottles of grolsch.

What are your Onion?

 

RPOS Guv X

 

Westworld Sky Atlantic Tuesdays 9PM

Having not seen anything decent for a while post Black Sails and Game of Thrones I was not overly looking forward to the latest and greatest television event as with everything that follows brilliance, it just follows and doesn’t bring anything new to the party.

So, with expectations low it started. Then it finished.

Fuck me that went quickly, still not sure what happened or what this leads to, but from what I can gather it has all the makings of a good series.

Why only good? The game seems to have been given away almost straight away – the ‘hosts’ (robots) are beginning to glitch. Beginning to wake up and think for themselves. I am hoping this deliberate early plot driver is only because of the mayhem to come.

The rich pay to play cowboys as ‘newcomers’ screwing, yee ha-ing, drinking, fighting, bank robbing, horse riding, spitting, shooting to their hearts content but there will be consequences and oh how they will be represented in this version. By the close of this first episode I am already rooting for the hosts.

There will be countless comparisons to the book of course, to the 70s movie no doubt, how the plot is twisted doesn’t follow the original and so on. So what, look at Game of Thrones. That hardly follows the books, more bases itself around them but still creating a fantastic world the viewer can buy into, immerse themselves and enjoy the emotional investment.

Plus there’s bonking, violence, swearing, humor and the soundtrack.

The soundtrack – clever uses of ‘cowboy’ instruments playing Paint it Black, Black Hole Sun lends a cracking set of sounds to the classic western landscapes, horses and action.

Do we have any obvious heroes? So far, no. Are there any obvious villains? Oh yes, just about everyone and anyone which is what it makes this so cool, so much so I can’t wait to see the next episode.

I can’t remember the names of most of the actors apart from Anthony Hopkins, Ed Harris, ‘Scott/Cyclops’ X-Men, Tony Soprano’s Shrink, plus James Bond’s CIA mate Felix. The cast is good, the sets are cool, the premise is well known I look forward to seeing how it all unfolds.

Watch out for it because it will be watching you……….

Trailer 1

Trailer 1 episode 2

 

https://youtu.be/pXKjjg4R-Is

 

What are your Onions?

 

RPOS Guv X

So the latest Star Wars movie trailer is out for rogue one, which on first viewing doe sin deed wet the appetite for what will be another satisfying shoot of a movie steeped in filming reference and using the techniques so widely applauded and lauded as getting the feel and atmosphere as close to the original trilogy as possible.

It starts with the usual build up, then hits us with big visuals, reference points all over the shop, historical characters brought back to life. It follows the familiar tread of a talented young gun, full of strength and spirit that needs purpose and direction. The hero is depicted early on and we are told about their passion, their desire. We also see they are hot headed and this leads to teaming up with another rebel who recruits rebels and so it goes on. The film is based on how the plans for the Death Star are obtained, Monmouth gave a quiet reference to how and what the cost was in gaining the technical data in Return of the Jedi.

For me, the love I have for Star Wars was based on not only the fantastic films, but the fact you had to wait for the next instalment, there was limited runs of merchandise, anything you could find you would soak up like a sponge desperate for anymore details. This drove the demand for another film and George Lucas gave us them in glorious CGI that were great films but the consensus was they just weren’t as good as 4, 5 and 6.

Then along came episode 7, The Force Awakens and BOOM! The world goes nuts again, faith is restored to the galaxy by the diligent JJ Abrahams. Disney go all out on the merchandise releasing just about anything and everything from tea towels to lap tops, make up to car tyres. Well maybe not the tyres, but you get what I mean, the gravy train that Disney paid millions of dollars for was rode and rode and rode again.

So, now we know there will be an episode 8 and 9 – fantastic nearly two years between each instalment means another wait, another build up of anticipation a new generation of fans, fans like me and the millions of others who loved the first trilogy, they will now have that experience and that sense of belonging.

Then the Empire. WD (Walt Disney) have decided to bring out Rogue 1, ok but this is possibly one of two films. Ok. Then there is an announcement of a fucking Han Solo back story. Not one (that would be bad enough) but a flipping trilogy! What next? A movie about Governor Tarkin and how he and his missus nearly split up over his knitting addiction? How about Leia and her puberty years or Ewoks and their battle against clag nuts!

A joke, the WD Empire now seeking to milk every generation for every penny they can, it actually is pissing not just me but a huge amount of fans. The dilution of the films integrity into a brand, into a cash cow for the Empire is just wrong. I know Lucas did it first but at least it was shown to be a phenomenon and not just a machine to make money over and above the quality of the films. Oh wait Episodes 1/11/111………..

Well I don’t know about you but reboots, off shoots, back stories show two things to my mind – money grabbing and lack of creativity.

There is so much reliance on the formulaic that real creativity I believe is suffocated.

Anyway, I’ll go and see the films, I wont buy the merchandise, still haven’t invested in the TFA despite my previous pledge to.

 

Have a look at the latest trailer and I look forward to reviewing R4’s rise to greatness…..

 

https://youtu.be/frdj1zb9sMY

 

What are your onions?

 

X

RPOS GUV.

Tv is generally shit these days, celebrity this celebrity that, reality bollocks and faux superstars going from one surge to another piss poor show that feeds the majority of the desperate, desperate to escape from their seudo lives and on demand life styles.

I have been reet vocal about shows such as the excellent Black Sails, Game of Thrones, recently the Night Manager on the BBC has been a beacon in an other wise turgid Radio Times.

But now there is a show, again on Sky, that has captured an audience desperate for some new and it comes in the form of something old. Seventies old. There is a revival of music medium the classic Vinyl record. The sleeves, the art work, something to be treasured not just downloaded. A physical representation of our lives and all that bollocks. Personally I have always loved vinyl and wholeheartedly support the resurgence of this form.

So, back to the show which is written/produced by Martin Scorsese and Mick Jagger. It’s a show set in the 70s world of the music industry when music made money and spent it as fast. It has a strong cast, brilliant story lines, strong language, sex, drugs and ROCK AND FUCKING ROLL!

It’s called Vinyl. You can smell the smoke, the opulence, the fact the industry is run by two factions- those who want to make money and those who want to make music.

The lead character is Richie Finestra, the boss of American Century a record company based in New York. Richie grew up with a love for the music that grabbed him and gave him sole. Using this love we see him at the head of American Century with his band of trusted colleagues, his beautiful wife Devon, their two children as he is about to sell to Parlaphone and make them all millions.

It twists and turns as Richie realises he is doing everything that he isn’t – he’s no corporate fat cat he is in it for the music and that constant inner battle causes his demons to come out, as every good decision made is met with two or three bad ones.

This show is brilliant, steals from fact and embellishes fiction, complimented with fantastic sound tracks from punk to disco, Bowie to Donny ‘fucking’ Osmond. It’s packed with gangsters, hedonistic clubs and parties, hot ladies, big Afros plus ROCKANDFUCKINGROLL!

Have a look, get hooked, there better be a series 2.

 

 

What are your onions?

 

RPOS GUV X

So,

The new Star Wars The Force Awakens DvD/Blueray is out next month and there will be a clamouring for it as there should be, it is a classic movie. It has all the elements of the original trilogy, great shots, cheesy dialoughue, fantastic locations and an unexpected twist. Our old heroes are brought back to add some much missed gravitas to the Star Wars world plus blend with the kids to show them the ropes.

But is it all that? Nostalgia or no new ideas and rehashed formulas hoping for some kind of love rekindled like your old school girl or boyfriend? Does this just feel good because it makes you remember how you felt the first time you saw these original wonderful movies?

Some great cameos – Simon Pegg, Daniel Craig – the kid out of Love Actually, can you spot them? I am sure there will be more I have missed.

There has been loads of great press but also some negative – nothing major – but certainly some, as there was when the originals were first released!!!

You could, whisper it quietly, almost call it a re-boot!!!!!!!!

Plot holes? Piss off! Crap Dialogue? Bollocks! Scary Villain not scary at all? Well actually, yes.

It’s my only gripe, Ben or Keno is not scary but rather wet. Also, without sounding weird but Han Solo is a good looking bloke and Princess Leia is hubbahubba, so how have they produced such a geek? Not realistic, unless of course that’s the point of all his hatred and angst, he is supposed to be wet and ugly hence him going to the dark side with all his teenage anger!! Still a crap call though in my opinion.

All I do know is that the Blue ray will be mine and hopefully not full of the bullshit boring bollocks over and above some out takes or cool deleted scenes.

It is what it is and all that most of us hoped for a cracking proper nerf splatting wamp rat splitting romp of a movie that pushes all the right star wars buttons for the young and old.

I for one am looking forward to coming movies, Rogue One, Star Wars 8 & 9. Bring it on JJ or whoever is taking over (not John Woo please).

May the force be with you…….

What are your onions?

 

rpos GUV x

 

 

 

 

Tv Tan

Last night I sat and tried to watch something on TV, even with 200+ channels there was nothing on.

Reality bollocks, don’t get ripped off nonsense, I’ve got 20 kids a big telly big house but no food for my big belly documentary. Believe me, there was nothing. It’s either doom and gloom or yet another celebrity does shit to look a twonk to challenge their sense of impotence, I mean importance.

When I was growing up all I heard from most adults was how good it was in their day, how youngsters spend too long in front of the TV, beer was cheaper blah blah blah. Problem is I’m turning into them!

There is hardly any originality to British Tv. If BBC have a detective drama set in the 1800s then ITV will have a poor imitation and vice a versa.

Young Ones, Black Adder, Alas Smith and Jones, Harry Enfield, Fools and Horses, Dads Army. Then not so long ago Brass Eye, Drop the Dead Donkey, Red Dwarf,

I know we have modern classics like Luther, Sherlock, Morse/Endeavour bug where is the comedy – Little Britain had moments but ran out of ideas, Dr Who’s ginger side kick was awful and don’t get me started on the moose Miranda.

X-factor, The Voice, Britains Got Talent, I’m a Celebrity, Big Brother, The Apprentice, Masterchef, Bake Off, The Pottery one, The Painting one. All turgid formulaic cack we all suck up, as socially we are told to via our electronic thought dictators – better be up on the latest trend or you’ll miss out! How else will you be able to update your status, join in on a hashtag shit fest????

Gold. Even that has had more re-runs than the great escape.

All the money that is pumped into making these programmes, surely there is some real talent out there that can shake up this over plastic false flakey ‘entertainment’ and no I don’t want to vote for it, I want the TV world to take some risks. I want to be surprised and made to want to tune in.

Blacksails is due a return and a review I will give – let’s hope it saves some face for the to world as well as Nassau!

What’s your onions?

RPOS GUV
X